Pregnancy

This is totally off topic from what I have focused this blog about, but here it goes anyway.  I hate being pregnant.  And more than that, I hate being pregnant when I have a child that is still not mobile on their own. We have 4 kids currently in our family.   The oldest two are my step-kiddos, but they are just as much my kids as my own are...  I am raising them.  I care for them.  They are forever mine.  My two kiddos were supposed to be it, but SURPRISE!  We are having another one in just a few weeks time.

I am not one that can see the joys of pregnancy through the storm.  I swell.  I get sick.  I have horrible back and hip pains.  And after my deliver in May of 2012, I have a stretched pelvic bone that has decided to add oh so many fun complications and pains.  This pregnancy I have also had a form of sciatica.  Sciatica is where the nerve bundle that hangs below your tailbone becomes pinched or irritated in someway.  What this means for me is very painful contractions that don't do anything but drop me to my knees...  Oh, and while they are at it my legs go to sleep.  Super fun stuff.

Now I have reached the end of this pregnancy and pretty much anytime from here on out I will be able to have this baby.  Good news on that front, but the bad news is I know I still have a couple weeks left of this.  I can't wait to be done.

I just needed to vent about that...  I know there are a lot of people that would gladly trade places with me.  I know there are people that try and struggle to even have one child.  My heart truly breaks for them.  However, it doesn't change how much pregnancy truly can suck.  Especially when you get to have pretty much every complication except hypertension (which would end the pregnancy much much sooner).

Like I said earlier, my husband and I were done having kids after the birth of my second son in May 2012.  We were happy with 3 boys and a girl.  We had enough space in our 3 bedroom house to accommodate everyone and we were happy.  We did everything in our power to prevent pregnancy.  But God had other plans for us...  We are part of the .1% that everything failed for.  People find it humorous, and from the outside, I know I would be chuckling along with them.  But in my shoes, all I wanted to do was scream and throw a fit.  This was not my plan.  Because of my personal beliefs and morals, I knew I would be having another child.  People tried to encourage me telling me that I must finally be having my girl that I have wanted so badly...  Big fail there!  Another boy is joining our family.

I will love him and cherish him as I already do.  He is one very stubborn little guy and I am excited to meet him.  At the same time, my husband and I are now having to take on the daunting task of finding a new home that will fit our growing family's needs.  With a total of 5 kids ranging from baby to 10 years old... we need much more space than we have...  That being said, we live in a rural area and don't have very many options. We have worked very hard over the last 5 years to get our current home as green as possible.  Replacing windows, insulation, the HVAC system and water heater...  Bought new Energy Star appliances and have our house running like a champ.  That being said, because of where we live... we aren't going to get to walk into our new house having those things done.  We will be starting over again.

Searching for houses is frustrating.  Raising our family in a house that is too small for our needs is frustrating.  The financial decisions we have to make are daunting.  And at the end of the day, I am more afraid than not that we are going to end up in a worse spot than we are in now.

So my focus has had to shift from switching to a natural lifestyle and exterminating chemicals to finding better housing options for our family.  Doing all this while very, very pregnant is just about to drive me over the wall.  I already have an eye twitch, might be checking into the funny farm later this week....